My last post, several months ago, was about how it’s okay to mess up once in a while, gain weight, not try for a day or so, which is all well and good. Except not so much.
Seeing as that was the last thing I wrote here for like, a quarter of a year, it’s apparent I used that attitude to give myself a break. Yes it’s okay to make mistakes from time to time, but it’s not okay, I think, to not hold yourself accountable.
In October, I weighed 168. Now I’m 178. Actually, I was 178 by the end of September, and I’ve been maintaining that (by the grace of God, really) since then.
I’ve lost my warrior sparkle, a little bit. I’m still motivated, but I don’t go for it like I should. I liked changing for the better every week. I liked people telling me how skinny I was almost every day. Now what I’m lacking in exercise, I make up for in ridiculous food choices. I need to start moving again.
It’s not just that I stopped caring—I do care, very much. It’s the busyness that killed me. Between school, homework, work, interning, boyfriend, etc, I hardly had time to get to our gym, or to cook for myself at all.
My initial goal was a healthy BMI by my 22nd birthday. That’s 35 days away, and I’ve got 20lbs to lose. That rate is a little unhealthy, but that doesn’t mean I get to give up. Love always perseveres.